


Afterglow

by Missalice1990



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: AU General, Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-05
Updated: 2020-01-05
Packaged: 2021-02-27 09:48:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 8,126
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22135069
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Missalice1990/pseuds/Missalice1990
Summary: She'd been working here for months, but this was the first time he chose to visit.
Relationships: Samantha "Sam" Carter/Jack O'Neill
Comments: 10
Kudos: 46





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> “I pinned your hands behind your back. Thought I had reason to attack, but no. Fighting with a true love is boxing with no gloves, chemistry ‘till it blows up, ‘till there’s no us. Why’d I have to break what I love so much? It’s on your face, and I’m to blame, I need to say; hey, it’s all me, in my head. I’m the one who burned us down, but it’s not what I meant. Meet me in the afterglow.”

She was standing at the drink station bundling utensils. Judging by the surplus of loose utensils, there had been a lunch rush, just as Bella had told her. Now, however, the restaurant was empty. It was in that awkward lull between lunch and dinner. That’s when he came in.

She sensed him without needing to look up. It incensed her that she could still sense him after all this time. It was a reminder of how close they had been - how close she thought they had been in any case. The others had stopped by weekly since she started this job. She didn’t ask how they knew. Didn’t need to. They had been keeping tabs on her, just like she would have them. If she had the clearance. But him… this was his first appearance since the shit had hit the proverbial fan.

She didn’t bother to look up when he approached, refusing to acknowledge him first. She had nothing to say to him. If he had something on his mind he was going to have to speak up. He stood there in front of her for a moment. She could hear him scuffing his feet awkwardly on the floor. Could picture him with his hands stuffed into his pockets, shoulders slumped, and a blank look on his face that only she could read. But that had been months ago, and now she couldn’t help but wonder if she had ever actually known him. Perhaps everything she thought they had, thought they felt, was all just in her head. It wouldn’t have been the first time she’d fooled herself.

“Major.”

His voice sent shock waves through her system. Her body reacted like an addict having their first shot of heroin in a year. Her stomach did somersaults, her legs grew weak, and her heart began pounding in her chest. She felt shaky. And then the anger came, bubbling forth, hot and blinding. She felt herself reply, cold and snakelike.

“That rank doesn’t apply to me anymore.” She spat, her eyes shooting up to his, searing with white hot rage.

He had enough decency to look away in shame. His eyes met the floor and he shifted uncomfortably from one foot to the other before risking a glance back at her. His eyes were soft, full of sorrow and remorse. In the past, she would have softened at this. But too much had happened. The man standing in front of her may as well be a stranger.

“Carter,” he pleaded. “I just want to talk.”

**One Year Ago**

_“So what do you think of this new egghead, Carter?” He asked her, tinkering with a small artifact from her lab table._

_“You mean the Colonel that Kinsey put in charge of R and D, sir?” Sam replied, removing the artifact from Colonel O’Neill’s hands as she spoke._

_“Yeah, that one.” O’Neill replied, tapping his now empty fingers on her lab table. “What’s his name… Shady?”_

_“Shadeer, sir.” Sam replied, biting back a laugh._

_“Ah, my bad, Shadier then.”_

_This time she couldn’t keep the giggle from escaping her lips. “He’s actually not that bad, sir.”_

_“He’s not?” O’Neill sounded doubtful, and examined her eyes as he spoke._

_“I know. I was dubious too, sir. If Kinsey likes him…”_

_“Then he’s trouble.”_

_“But he actually seems to be a good choice, sir. He has all the right credentials.”_

_“You have all the right credentials.” O’Neill replied pointedly, his eyes piercing into hers._

_“I’m not a Colonel, sir.” She answered, wincing._

_“So what, Carter. You’ve been the head of R and D since the start. Why take that from you now?”_

_“I know, Sir. And I appreciate your defending me, but honestly, I believe Colonel Shadeer was a good pick.”_

_“Yeah, alright. But remember, just because he’s your boss in the lab, doesn’t mean you’re not still my second. Which means I always get first dibs.”_

_Sam grinned. “I wouldn’t have it any other way, Sir.”_

**Present Day**

“I’m sorry, Sir.” she replied coldly. “I’m a little busy at the moment.” She turned away from him and began drying the glasses she had stacked by the sink. She felt him move around the drink bar so that he was standing at her side. Her body betrayed her again, skin tingling with electricity at his nearness.

“Sam.” he grabbed her shoulders, turning her so she would be forced to face him. “I made a mistake.”

She scoffed. “Look, Colonel.” The venom in her voice seemed to be growing. “I really don’t have time for this.” she pulled away from him and walked into the back room. He followed her. She expected he would.

“Carter, stop. Just talk to me.”

“I don’t take orders from you anymore, Colonel. That ship sailed along with my career.” She turned around to see he had cornered her again. Over his shoulder, she could see the second waitress for the night had arrived and was looking as though she worried she may have to intervene. Sam shook her head slightly, and the woman shrugged, clocked in, and headed out to the floor.

“Sam, I don’t understand.” He changed tactic. “Why are you working here? You have two PHD’s for cryin’ out loud! What are you doing waitressing in a restaurant?”

She clenched her jaw and crossed her arms over his chest. Was he fucking with her? Trying to get a rise out of her?

“I was blacklisted from working as a scientist. I figured you knew that.”

“You what?” he looked at her in shock. Maybe he hadn’t known that. Or maybe he was still playing her.


	2. Chapter 2

Jack stared at her in shock. Blacklisted from science. How? Why? Even if the charges against her had been true, that wouldn’t be reason enough to prevent her from working in science. Kinsey had this planned all along, he knew that now. He should have known that then.

“That’s why you sold your house.” he said finally. He shouldn’t have been surprised Kinsey would do something like that. But why her? Jack was the one Kinsey had a problem with, not Sam. Maybe he used her to get to him. Which made this whole mess his fault all over again. Stupid, stupid Jack.

“Can’t pay a mortgage on a waitressing salary.”

She still glared at him with a hatred that she had never directed at him before. It was a spark in her that had always made him proud. That she could make grown men quiver in their boots for daring to fuck with her just with a glance. Now, the full force of that seething hatred was directed at him, and he didn’t know if he could stand it. She would have broken him already, if he hadn’t already been broken months before.

**8 months ago**

_Jack poked his head into Carter’s lab. He missed hanging out with her while she worked, but now every time he looked in on her, Shadeer was there. It was like he’d moved into her lab room. Didn’t the guy have his own damn office to loiter in? Or his own projects to work on? It seemed like all he did was wait around to hang out with Carter. And sure enough, there he was. They were sitting at the lab table, both facing the door. Neither noticed Jack, as they seemed to be engrossed in some doohickey. He said something to her and she laughed. Then she gave him her megawatt smile. The one she usually saved for Jack. That hurt._

_Jack moved to leave without entering, but Daniel appeared behind him and began talking before he got the chance to head out._

_“Picking up Sam for lunch? I had the same idea!” Danel said cheerfully in his ear, calling the attention of Carter and Shadeer to their presence. “Hi Sam! Anyways, it feels like we haven’t had a good team lunch in months. Let’s go!”_

**Present Day**

“Look, I really do need to go back out there. The dinner rush is going to start soon and I need to make sure everything is prepared.” She tried to push past him, but he stood his ground.

“Would it help if I said I was sorry?” He asked. Words were never his thing, and he really had no idea how to fix this. He just knew he needed to fix it before he said what he’d come to say.

“Sorry? You’re sorry?” her eyes flashed, and her cheeks flushed an angry red color. “You know, I handled the accusations. The whispers in the hallways, all the people who didn’t believe my side. But you - I thought you knew me better than that. I guess I was wrong.” She brushed past him then. He grabbed her hand as she did so, stopping her once again. She didn’t turn back to face him, but her posture was one of defeat. Maybe she would listen this time.

“Sam I… You’re right, I did know you better than that… should have known you better. I just… It’s just that…”

“You believed him.” She pulled her hand away and left the room.

“Yeah.” he mumbled to the empty room. “And I’ll never forgive myself, so why should I expect you to?"

**6 months earlier**

_“Thank you for coming SG-1. I thought you should be the first to know.” General Hammond said to the team. Jack had noticed Carter acting strangely over the past few days, but things had been uncomfortable between them since the Shady Colonel had taken command of R &D. In the past he would have just waltzed into her lab and asked what was wrong. Now, though, Shadeer was always there. He never got a moment alone with her anymore. Not unless they were offworld or he went to her house. She wasn’t really acting strangely enough to warrant a home visit just yet. He looked over at her, but she was staring pointedly at her lap, studiously not looking at anyone, schooling her expression. Maybe it was about time for that home visit after all._

_“Well, Sir, what did you want to see us about? Got another end of the world mission for us?” He asked, forcing himself to look back at the General._

_“Not exactly, Jack.” Hammond replied, his voice soft. That got Jack’s attention. Something was wrong. Hammond never called him Jack unless something was wrong. He risked another glance at Carter, her face still blank. Obviously this had something to do with her._

_“What seems to be the problem, sir?” Daniel asked, ever the diplomat. His eyes met Jacks, telling him he too was worried about their friend._

_Jack looked to Teal’c. He remained stoic as ever, but he was silently studying Major Carter. That alone told Jack that Teal’c was just as concerned as he and Daniel._

_General Hammond spoke after a moment’s hesitation, sounding uncertain how to word his following sentence. “Earlier this week there were serious allegations of misconduct brought to my office against Major Carter.”_

_“What?” Jack exclaimed. It took every bit of self control not to leap out of his chair._

_Daniel was equally shocked. “That doesn’t make any sense. Sam has given her life to this program! How could someone possibly believe she’s done something wrong?”_

_“I concur with Colonel O’Neill and Daniel Jackson.” Teal’c added. “Major Carter is a most dedicated and loyal servant.”_

_Carter looked up, and gave a half-hearted smile. “Thanks guys. That means a lot.” she said, before her gaze returned to her lap._

_Jack took in the scene before him before finally turning to Hammond to ask the question they were all wondering. “What exactly has she been accused of, sir.”_

_General Hammond met his eyes, there was something in them Jack almost couldn't identify. It took him a moment to place the look, and then he realized; that was the same look Hammond had given him when Carter was infected with the alien entity that attacked the base. The realization sent a chill down his spine. Had he finally cost Carter her job because of his feelings? They had never done anything, but someone could certainly twist the facts enough to make it look as though they had._

_“Colonel Shadeer has accused Major Carter of fraternising with a superior officer.” Hammond replied._

_Jack went cold. It felt as though every cell in his body had frozen. But Hammonds next words made the ice turn to fire. “He claims he and Major Carter have been engaging in an intimate relationship, and he has reason to believe she has done so to help her advance in her career. Now-”_

_Hammond stopped talking. Stopped talking because Jack stood and left the room without saying a word. He should have known. Should have realized. And the look of guilt on Carter’s face had told him everything he needed to know._


	3. Chapter 3

She returned to the restaurant floor to find a few tables had come in while she was in the back room. At least she had remembered to grab the box of straws from the back so it didn’t look like she was just hooking up in the back room. She’d rather not get fired for the same crime twice in the same year.

Kelly, the other waitress, looked up at her and smiled. Sam set down the straws and moved to help her. She slipped into the kitchen and grabbed a few baskets of rolls and dishes of butter before heading to place them at the tables. When she came back from the kitchen he was sitting at a two top, looking over the menu. Of course it wouldn’t be that easy. If she ever knew him at all, then he would wait there until the last table had been served and follow her to her car. He had something to say, and he was just as stubborn as she was. Guess she’d just have to wait and see who won that fight.

“Who’s your friend?” Kelly asked after all the tables had been helped. She and Sam had returned to the drink bar and continued drying the dishes that had been abandoned when he showed up.

“Not a friend.” Sam said bitterly. “Not anymore. Maybe never.”

“Cryptic.” Kelly rolled her eyes. “I take it you two had a falling out?”

“Something like that.”

**6 months earlier**

_“Sir!” Sam called as she rounded the corner. He was heading towards the elevator and either hadn’t heard her, or pretended not to. He was quite a ways ahead of her and entered the elevator, turning around to push the button. He saw her, she was certain he had. But he thumbed the button aggressively and stared blankly ahead as the doors slid shut._

_She had felt like he’d been avoiding her since General Hammond told her team about the accusations two days earlier. Daniel told her she was probably imagining things, but this confirmed it. Confirmed it because three days ago he would have held the elevator door for her. They would have chatted on the ride up, and he might have even followed her into her lab, or to her car. Instead, he pretended she wasn’t there._

_At first she had thought his abrupt departure from the briefing room was due to anger at someone accusing his friend of something so unbelievable. But then, he had begun avoiding her. And now, confronted with her chasing him in the hallway, he just pretended she wasn’t there. It was a nail in her coffin; he believed her accuser. And without him backing her up, she was done. She may even serve jail time. She swallowed the lump in her throat, turning to head back to the control room. People were staring at her, but when she looked at them, they broke up and headed in different directions, an air of discomfort around them._

**Present day.**

Kelly had graciously agreed to take his table, though she could still feel his eyes on her as she helped the other tables. True to form, he didn’t leave. When he finished his meal, he simply ordered more drinks. When it came time to close he was still sitting there, taking pulls from a warm beer as he watched her work. Kelly had surmised he was an old flame hoping to get her back. Sam didn’t bother to correct her.

“Sam, I’ve told him we’re closing three times now, and he just won’t leave.” Kelly told her. “What do you want me to do?”

Sam sighed. “Did you threaten to call the police?”

“No… It’s just… He seems real nice, Sam. I don’t feel comfortable threatening him like that.”

Sam sighed again. “Yeah, he has that effect on people.” She looked over at the table from where she stood counting the till. He was staring at her again. She steeled herself, squared her shoulders, and tried not to think of the first time they met. “I’ll take care of it. Here, finish with the till.”

“Thanks, Sam.” Kelly replied, relieved.

She walked up to him with a challenge in her eyes. “We’re closed.”

“I heard.”

“You need to leave.”

“Now, you know me, Carter.” He leaned back in his chair, crossing his arms over his chest. “I’m not leaving until I get what I want.”

“No? Well, I guess I’ll just have to call the cops then.”

He laughed. “You know I’m friends with all the cops in town.”

“Fine.” she spat, crossing her arms over her chest angrily. “What is it you want, then?”

“Five minutes of your time.” His eyes softened, and his voice took on a pleading tone.

“Done.”

“Really?” he seemed to inspect her, his lips twitching slightly.

“Yup. Five minutes well spent cornering me in the back room.” She was challenging him, they both knew it. But she’d be damned if she let him get off that easily. He didn’t deserve any of her time. They both knew it. They also both knew he wouldn’t give up, and she would have to drive home eventually.

“Five more minutes then.”

She looked away angrily only to see Kelly looking at her hopefully. They needed to close his tab and wash his dishes so they could sweep and go home. It wasn’t fair to keep Kelly here late just because of their little standoff. She groaned inwardly, but accepted her fate. Five minutes wouldn’t kill her. He’d been here so long anyways, that honestly the damage was already done. She knew she was going to miss him when he abandoned her again, and she hated herself for it.

“Fine.” she snapped. “I’m parked in the back. Now get out.”

He nodded, dropped a wad of cash on the table, and left.

**6 months earlier**

_“Sam!” Daniel came rushing towards her in the hallways as she walked towards her lab, loaded down with piles of reports she was rushing to finish. He didn’t question why; they all knew if this went poorly, she wouldn’t be around to finish them._

_“Daniel.” she greeted him unenthusiastically._

_“General Hammond told me they already have a hearing date.” Daniel said, relieving her of half her pile. “Isn’t that kind of quick?”_

_Sam shook her head. “Shadeer fast tracked his request. Clearly whoever is behind this wants me out of here as soon as possible.”_

_“I just can’t believe they would put you on trial only a week after you’d been accused. Don’t they need to collect evidence to support their claims?”_

_“What evidence, Daniel?” Sam stopped in front of her lab door to face him. “It’s a fraternization claim. It’s all he said she said and defence of character.”_

_“Yeah, I suppose you’re right.”_

_Sam looked around the hall. There were people passing; each one turned to stare at her as they passed. “Come on, Daniel. Let’s get out of the hallway.”_

_“So I heard they asked Jack to be a character witness for you.” Daniel said, following her into her lab._

_She winced. They had asked her entire team to be character witnesses, as well as Janet, Cassandra, General Hammond, and several base technicians. All of them had said yes. All but one._

_“He said no, Daniel.”_

_“He did?” Daniel asked in disbelief. “Why would he say no?”_

_“Because, Daniel, he clearly thinks I did it.”_

_“How could he? After everything…”_

_“I don't know Daniel, but he does.” She cut him off, biting back tears. “Just drop it, okay?”_

_“Yeah, okay…”_


	4. Chapter 4

Jack leaned against her car as he waited for her to come outside. He had parked next to her when he pulled in, spotting the car immediately. The old volvo was impossible to miss. People trailed out of the restaurant as he waited. The kitchen staff, he presumed. There had not been any other customers when he left, and the pair were clearly closing up shop. It wasn’t long before she walked out with the other waitress. An older man walked out with them, locking the door before waving goodbye to the two women.

The two exchanged pleasantries, then Carter smiled and waved to the other woman as she retreated to her own vehicle. Then she turned to face him, and he saw her resolve drop ever so slightly. He had watched her the entire evening. She was a ghost of herself; half broken and barely recognizable. He was in part, if not entirely, responsible for that. She squared her shoulders before she approached him. Anger bubbled from her, but he still didn’t see her fist until it was too late. She made contact with his nose; it was a clean break.

“Okay, I deserved that.” he gasped, cupping his broken nose in his hands.

“I trusted you. I had faith in you. After all those years watching each other’s six, I thought the feeling was mutual. Shadeer may have drug my name through the mud, but you’re the one who made certain it stayed there.”

“I know. And I’m sorry. It’s just that… I… it made sense.”

“It made SENSE? Really? THAT is what you’re going to tell me right now? IT MADE SENSE? That I would what, fuck anyone just to get ahead?”

“No I… that’s not what I meant.” he grumbled. Words were really not his thing.

“Then what did you mean.”She hissed. Her voice was pure venom.

**6 months earlier**

_He kept finding himself here. It didn’t matter where he intended to go, his feet just kept bringing him back. He could smell her in this room, filled with all her doohickeys. The violets he bought her a few years back were still thriving. He had filled her space with floral house plants over the years; it was the only way he could give her flowers. He had always wanted to give her so much more. Now he stood here staring at them, thinking what a good they had been._

_She wasn’t here. Possibly wouldn’t ever be here again. The trial was starting in the morning, and she had already left. She said goodbye to everyone just in case, but she didn’t say goodbye to him. Why would she? Everything he thought they had was a lie._

_He silently kicked himself as he moved through the room, his fingers trailing along her lab table as he passed it. He picked up a small item and examined if. It was one of those damn memory recall devices. Dad had given her one after Anise futzed with their heads. It was some consolation prize for her to study._

_He rolled it around in his fingers as he thought back over the years. He had never made a move on his second; duty was more important. But he loved her. Since the first moment she walked into that briefing room and saluted him, he loved her. He thought she felt the same. He sat down on her stool and examined the item in his hand._

_“Here I thought it was duty keeping us apart.” He mumbled to himself. “You’re more foolish than you thought, O’Neill.”_

_Of course she was never interested in him. Why would she be? He shouldn’t have been surprised. And yet, finding out she’d been sleeping with Shadeer had felt like a sucker punch. He wanted to defend her in the trial, but he didn’t feel like he could do it. Not without giving away more than he should. No, if he agreed to be a character witness, he would likely cause more harm than good._

**Present day.**

“It never made sense that you… that I … that we…” He really had no idea how to broach this topic. “He made sense. He was young and attractive, and smart… and I… was hurt.” He shrugged uncomfortably.

“You were hurt?” she asked him, incredulously. “I was up for a court marshall, and you refused to defend me because you were hurt? They used you against me, and then when you didn’t show up to defend me, they used THAT against me too. But I suppose all is forgiven because you were HURT.”

**6 months earlier**

_“Please read the highlighted section.” The prosecutor said, gesturing to the page as he handed it to Janet._

_“It says…” Janet looked at Sam apologetically before reading it aloud. “In reference to Major Carter, Colonel O’Neill stated quote ‘I care about her a lot more than I’m supposed to.’ end quote.”_

_Sam winced and looked at her hands as the persecutor continued, seeing where he was going with this. “So Colonel Shadeer isn’t the first superior officer whom Major Carter has seduced for her own personal gain.”_

_“Objection, conjecture.”_

_“Sustained.”_

_“Major Frasier, who suggested then Captain Carter be promoted to Major?”_

_“I believe it was Colonel O’Neill, but she had been up for promotion for some time-”_

_“No further questions.”_

_Sam’s defense attorney stood up to cross examine. “Major Frasier, would you please read the entirety of that paragraph?”_

_Janet looked relieved. “Yes of course. It says; In reference to Major Carter, Colonel O’Neill stated quote ‘I care about her a lot more than I’m supposed to.’ end quote. From my observations, Colonel O’Neill cares this way for each member of his team, but has to make this distinction with Major Carter given their ranks and working relationship.”_

_“So what your saying is Colonel O’Neill May be closer with Major Carter than his rank should allow, but not closer than he is with any other member of his team.”_

_“Correct.”_

_“No further questions.”_

_“With respect, I have one more question.” The prosecutor stood up. The judge nodded her approval before he continued. “Major Frasier, if Colonel O’Neill cares so much for his team, then where is he?”_

_“I… I don’t know.”_

_“No? Every other member of her team is here.” He gestured to the seats General Hammond and SG-1 were in. “Couldn’t Colonel O’Neill’s absence be evidence that he realized Major Carter was using him in the same way she used Colonel Shadeer?”_

_“Objection! Your honor he is clearly leading the witness.”_

_“I’ll rephrase. Major Frasier, why do you believe Colonel O’Neill is not here to support his subordinate?”_

_“Objection! He’s asking the witness to speculate.”_

_“I rescind my question.” He raised his hands defensively. “No further questions.”_

_Sam knew it didn’t matter. He may have rescinded his questions, but the tribunal had gotten his point. Colonel O’Neill wasn’t here because he believed she used him for personal gain. She had thought she earned her promotions and awards, but Colonel O’Neill’s absence proved otherwise. She felt like a fool._

**Present day**

“You got your five minutes, Colonel.” She hissed, pushing past him. “Don’t come back.”

He watched as she got into her car and started the engine. He had a sick feeling about letting her leave with things as they were, but he had dug his grave. Now he had to sit in it.

He sighed, moving out of the way so she could pull out of her parking space. Then he watched as her tail lights retreated into the night. There was still so much he had to tell her. Time to call in the reinforcements. He pulled his cell out of his pocket and dialed the number from memory.

“It’s me. No… she doesn’t want to hear it. Yeah, alright. Thanks.”

**6 months earlier**

_“Jack, what are you doing here?”_

_Daniel seemed to have materialized from nowhere. Maybe he had just been lost in his own thoughts for far too long. After all, he was still standing absentmindedly in her lab._

_“Is there somewhere else I’m supposed to be, Daniel?” He looked at the man when he spoke and realized Daniel wasn’t wearing his BDU’s. Instead he was wearing a suit._

_“Uh. Yeah. Sam’s hearing starts today.” Daniel looked perturbed._

_“And?”_

_“Jack.”_

_“Daniel.”_

_“Jack.”_

_“Daniel.”_

_“Why aren’t you there?”_

_“Why aren’t you?” He said, pointedly. Talk about the pot calling the kettle black._

_“Because Sam left something important in her lab. She’s in custody now, so she asked if I could pick it up. Your turn.”_

_“Well, you know me, Daniel. I’ve never been one for this kind of thing.” He lied._

_“This kind of thing? Jack, Sam is on trial. It’s not exactly something you skip out on because it's “not your thing.’” Daniel added little air quotes with his fingers to emphasize his point._

_Jack scratched at the back of his neck. “Look, Daniel-“_

_“No, you look, Jack.” Daniel planted his feet, squaring his shoulders as he crossed his arms. “Sam needs us. Now, I’m not even going to pretend to understand and what your problem is, but you and I both know she would be there for you regardless of the accusation. So get your head out of your ass.”_

_“Daniel?”_

_“Jack?”_

_“Do you…” he hesitated. Maybe he shouldn’t be saying this. “Do you think she did it?”_

_“Really Jack, that’s what this is about? You’re jealous?”_

_He winced. Daniel had hit the nail on its head. “I never said that.”_

_“You didn’t have to, Jack. And you shouldn’t need to ask that question. You know her better than that.”_

_He stared at Daniel in surprise. He did know her better than that, didn't he? And yet, this realization made it even more imperative that he stay as far away from that trial as possible._

_“I can’t walk into that tribunal, Daniel.”_

_“Why the hell not?”_

_“Because if I do, I’ll only make things worse for her. Either they’ll use my feelings against her, or I’ll rip that Colonel Shady’s head clean off his shoulders.”_

_“So you’ve come to your senses then?”_

_“Yeah. Should’ve gotten there sooner, but I guess I like to dwell.”_

_“Yeah. Well, what are you going to do then?”_

_“I’m gonna go find Dad.”_


	5. Chapter 5

There was a knock at her door. She looked up in surprise. Who would be knocking on her door? As far as she knew, none of her friends - old or new - had her new address. She was still rummaging through boxes as there simply wasn’t enough room in this small apartment for her things. She had purged a lot, but she just couldn’t make herself get rid of her books. Making her way through the small living room to her door was time consuming. She made it, but not before there was another impatient ratatat on the door. She opened the door the door a crack to peer through it, then swung it the rest of the way open in a rush.

“Dad.” She breathed through her shock as she rushed into his arms.

“Hey, kiddo. Sorry I didn’t come sooner.” He said, his strong arms encircling her.

She breathed in his scent. The smell of his Tok’ra leathers still lingered even though he was wearing earth clothes. It was comforting, and she suddenly felt very much like a small girl wrapped in her daddy’s arms after a bad day at school. She began to cry. For the first time since losing her dream job, she wept.

“Let’s get you some tea.” He said after a moment, pulling her out of his arms and leading her back into her apartment.

“So I guess the Tok’ra finally got the message to you.” Sam said, sniffling as she wiped tears from her face. She slid onto a stool at her small breakfast bar and watched him rummage through her kitchen.

“Not exactly.” He replied, his eyes darkening in anger. He moved through her kitchen, finding the necessary items to make tea. His eyes examined the small apartment as he did so. “Sam, why didn’t you use my salary from the Air Force? You know I have no use for it offworld.”

It was true, his salary was deposited monthly into a bank account in both of their names. He had added her name to the account after he joined the Tok’ra so she could buy Christmas and Birthday gifts for the family when he couldn’t make it back.

“It just… didn’t feel right.” She shrugged. It didn’t. That was his income, whether he used it or not. Pilfering from her father's account without his implicit approval, even if she knew he would want her to, just seemed wrong.

“Well, first order of business is to get you back into your house. You can’t live out of boxes Sammy.” He put the pot on the stove to boil and leaned on the breakfast bar to look at her.

“Dad. What did you mean?” She asked.

“Hmm? About what sweetie?” He replied absently as he stood back up and began putting tea bags into the two mugs he’d found.

“You said ‘not exactly.’ Dad, what does that mean?”

He froze, his face growing angry again. Suddenly he dipped his head, then turned to look at her.

“The Tok’ra did not contact us, Samantha.”

Sam straightened up a little in surprise at hearing Selmac speak. He didn’t typically speak to her unless asked for. The rare occasions he had taken over for her father had been ones where her father was too emotional to give a coherent response.

“Then… how did you..”

“Jack found us.” Her father replied, having regained his composure enough to speak for himself once again. “The damn Tok’ra didn’t think my daughter was important enough to interrupt my mission for.”

Sam was taken aback. “I find that unlikely.” She hissed, still burning from his appearance at her work the night before.

“Well it’s the truth, Sam.”

**Several days earlier**

_Jacob sat in the throne room bantering with Selmac. They were bored, but at least they had one another for company. This mission was bullshit, and they had been playing the role of a Goa’uld for far too long. There wasn’t anything of value on this planet, and it was becoming clearer with everyday that Yu had abandoned these people. There was no point in them staying, and they had begun to consider returning home whether they received orders to or not. The doors swung open and the Jaffa portraying his first prime entered. He entered alone, and so, didn’t bow._

_“Regar.” Jacob spoke to him, no need to keep up pretenses in his allies presence. “Has something happened?”_

_“Yes. The Jaffa patrolling the gate have captured one of your Tau’ri friends.”_

_Jacob stood suddenly. The last time SG-1 had come to find him on a mission, they’d had to act quickly or else they would have lost Jack and Teal’c to their stupid idea to retrofit a Goa’uld death glider._

_“Just one?” He asked, fretting. Who could it be? Sam was the most likely option to send if something had gone wrong. But why would they send her alone? Jack would never allow it. Something must have happened to Jack then._

_“Indeed.”_

_“Have they been injured?” Jacob asked, his concern growing. Regar had a few Jaffa on his side, but most of the Jaffa on this planet still believed the Goa’uld to be gods._

_“I intervened before too much harm could be done. Would you have him brought to you?”_

_Him? Jacob felt his heart drop into his stomach. If it wasn’t Sam, that meant something had happened to her._

_‘Calm yourself my friend.” Selmac interjected in his mind. ‘We must not jump to conclusions.’_

_“Yes. Have him brought here.”_

_“Very well.”_

_As Regar left the room Jacob allowed Selmac to take over control in case the Jaffa bringing in the prisoner were not to be trusted._

_The doors opened once more and Regar marched to the foot of the throne, dropping to one knee. He was followed by two Jaffa who unceremoniously pulled the semi-conscious male form and dropped him to the ground._

_“Leave us.” Selmac ordered of the two Jaffa, before granting Jacob his request to examine the prisoner._

_The doors closed and Jacob took over control immediately, rushing to help Jack to his feet._

_“You are one hard man to find, Dad.” Jack grumbled, holding one of his arms awkwardly._

_“What’s wrong? Where is Sam?” Jacob asked his friend._

_Jack was pretty beat up, but he’d been in worse condition. Jacob pulled a healing device out of his robes to work on the broken arm his Jaffa had given Jack._

_“Carter is… honestly Dad, I don’t know. I messed up.”_

_“Don’t tell me that Jack. Is she okay?”_

_“Physically, as far as I know.”_

_“What the hell is that supposed to mean?”_

_Jack winced, and Jacob finally noticed Jack was refusing to meet his eyes. What had happened?_

_“Jack. Tell me what happened to my daughter. Now, before I re-break that bone I just healed.”_

_“You know re-break isn’t an actual word” he tried to joke before uncomfortably shrinking under Jacob’s glare. “She was court martialed. About six months ago. I don’t even know if the charges went through, I’ve been looking for you ever since.”_

_Jacob took a moment to really look at him. He could see the months of searching etched into his features. He was thinner, withdrawn, with dark circles under his eyes. Other assorted injuries had been made and healed, but Jacob hadn’t noticed them before as they were covered in mud, and bloodstains. His clothes were tattered rags, and his boots had holes worn in them._

_“Start from the beginning, Jack.”_

**Present day.**

“I don’t get it.” Sam said, cradling her tea in her hands. “Why did he come looking for you? He wouldn’t even _look_ at me after the General told SG-1 about the accusations.”

“According to Jack, Daniel talked some sense into him.” He replied, an amused look on his face.

“So rather than come and defend me, he ran off through the Stargate looking for you?” Her anger was softening around the edges, but it still bubbled under the surface. This was her life after all. He could have at least told her he believed in her. That was all she had ever needed from him.

“Not that it’s a defense, kiddo, but we all know Jack isn’t great at handling his emotions.”

“He came by my work last night.” She mumbled, staring into her tea as she began to wonder if she should have heard him out.

“I know, I told him to.”

Hey eyes shot up to stare at her father in surprise. “Why? After everything, why send him and not come yourself?”

“Because I was in DC.” He said darkly. “Having words with the President. And I thought he should try to smooth things over with you.”

“Having words with the President?” Sam snickered. “I fail to see what he could do.”

“We’re all working hard to get you reinstated Sammy. Daniel, Teal’c, and George have been looking into Shadeer since the trial ended. The President knows there’s something hinky going on too, but he didn’t know where to start. He’s on your side. We all are.”

Sam smiled at her father. Of course her team was on her side. That didn’t change what had happened, but it made her feel better knowing they were trying to fix it.

“That’s good to hear, Dad. But it doesn’t change what happened. It doesn’t fix what he did.”

“Sam…”

“No. He should have talked to me. He never even let me tell him my side. Why didn’t he believe in me?”

“Don’t ask me, Sam. Ask him.”

“Dad..”

“Sam, just go talk to him. Give him a chance to explain himself. I need to head back to the SGC and let the team know what I’ve found out, but Jack said he’d be waiting at the bar by your work tonight if you agree to meet with him.”

“Yeah. Okay.”

“I love you kiddo.”

“Thanks, Dad. I love you too.”


	6. Chapter 6

“When they found out you had declined to be a character witness, the prosecution ran with it. They claimed you must have realized I had used you and moved on.” She had walked into the bar that night, unsure if she should bother, but needing answers. She saw him right away, sitting at the bar nursing a beer and picking at a bowl of mixed nuts.

“I’m sorry I wasn’t there to defend you, Sam. If I had known…”

“If you had known what, Jack? That Shadeer was lying? You should have known. You didn’t even give me a chance to tell you my side.”

“I know. And I know now how wrong I was… But Carter, you were always together. Every time I came by your lab he was there, flirting with you. You clearly enjoyed his company…”

“We were friends, Jack. Or I thought we were anyways. In reality he was just laying the groundwork to make his accusation believable.”

“I should have been there for you. But when Danny finally talked some sense into me… I was so mad that I… I think my presence there would have only made things worse.”

“Maybe you’re right.” Sam grumbled, swirling the whiskey glass in front of her.

Jack motioned at the bartender to bring them two more, then drank his untouched glass in one swallow.

“Look, you know I’m bad with this sort of thing… but I..” he took a deep breath. “Sam, you know how I feel about you. Don’t you?” Uncertainty filled his voice as he spoke.

They looked at one another, sharing one of those silent messages she hadn’t realized she missed sharing with him. The bartender set two fresh glasses of whiskey in front of them, pulling them back to reality. She finished her first glass and pushed it aside, pulling the second one next to her, staring into it for a moment as she decided what to say.

Finally she looked back into his eyes, warm and brown. “Why don’t you just say it, Jack.”

“Carter..” his tone was one of warning, but her last name on his lips sounded intimate.

“No. None of this hiding behind ranks bullshit, Jack. I’m not your subordinate anymore. Just say it.”

He sighed and downed his second glass of whiskey in one gulp. Liquid courage. But for what? To say he never felt that way? Or to say the words she so desperately wanted to hear? And did it even matter anymore? Maybe things had changed too much. What if she couldn’t forgive him.

“You remember that first moment you saw an active Stargate?” A soft smile touched his lips as he spoke. “You just stood there in awe of it, rambling on about fluctuations in the event horizon.”

“Yeah, right before you unceremoniously pushed me through.” She rolled her eyes.

He snickered. “Well, I’m my defense I don’t think you ever would have shut up.”

“Is this supposed to make me feel better?” She grumbled, taking a sip of her whiskey.

“Do you want me to tell you or not?”

She glared at him, but this time instead of anger, she felt mild amusement.

He smiled at her. “I can still picture that moment. Your eyes lit up like a kid meeting Santa.” His own eyes became unfocused as he pulled the memory into his mind. “The exact same blue of the wormhole. So full of awe. Then you reached out your hand and touched it so reverently…”

He stopped speaking and looked down at his empty whiskey glass. “That was the first moment I realized I was in trouble.” He admitted, meeting her eyes. “Carter, I’ve been in love with you since day one.”

She flushed, then turned to look back into the honey colored liquid in her glass.

She could feel his gaze on her as he continued to speak. “I guess I kind of thought you felt the same. Like we were just waiting for the war to end… When Hammond told us about Shadeer’s accusation I felt… like an idiot. All this time I thought the only thing keeping us apart was duty, and Shadeer’s accusation felt like a slap in the face.”

“I never-“ she started, defensively.

“I know.” He cut her off. “But at the time, I thought it made sense. After all, he’s young, attractive. Way smarter than me…”

“Jack, you’re a lot smarter than you give yourself credit for.”

“That’s hardly the point.” He grumbled.

“Then what is the point?” She challenged.

“The point is, Carter. You can do so much better than me. I just figured you had finally realized that. And... I was blinded by my Jealousy.”

He shrugged like it was a lame excuse, but it was one she understood. How long had she avoided him after she’d worked so hard to get him back from Edora? When he went rogue a few weeks later, she let her own Jealousy take over, and let herself think she hadn’t really known him.

“I just… I want to be clear about something Sam.” He continued before she had a chance to reply. “Never, not once, not even for a second, did I believe you did any of it to get ahead. I might have been blinded by jealousy, but not so blind as to think you would ever use someone like that. I never lost faith in you. I hope you know that.”

“You know, that’s all I ever needed from you.” She said softly. “For you to believe me. Believe in me. When you didn’t…”

“I always believed in you.” He interrupted.

Sam took a deep breath. “When you wouldn’t even give me a chance to defend myself, it felt like you stopped believing in me. And it hurt. After everything we’ve been through, everything I felt for you… it hurt to think that you, of all people, didn’t believe me.”

“I know, and I’m sorry. I know I can’t make it up to you. But I promise I will never stop trying.”

“Thank you.” She said, holding his gaze for a moment. “So now what?”

“Well Danny and T have been trying to find a way to prove Shadeer was lying. The plan is to find enough evidence to put in for an appeal. That way we can get you reinstated. Assuming you want to come back.”

Sam looked at him, seeing the hope in his eyes. Why had she ever doubted him. Even if he hadn’t believed her to begin with, she should have known he would come to his senses. Perhaps they both had a little to make up for.

“I don’t know, sir. Are you going to write me up for assaulting a superior officer?” She teased, referencing his broken nose.

“Not your superior officer right now, Carter. I couldn’t write you up for anything. Even if I wanted to.”

She grinned at him. “Really? That’s good to know.” Then she sobered a little. “What happens if they can’t find any evidence? Shadeer is good. I mean, he fooled me.”

“Well, Dad and the president came up with a little contingency plan.”

“They did?”

“Yup.” He said, making a little popping sound with the p.

“Are you going to share this contingency plan with me?”

Well, the President is gonna give us six more weeks to come up with some evidence. If we can’t find anything substantial, then he’s going to pardon you.”

“And that solves what exactly?”

“Well, it leaves you with a clean slate, and gives Hammond the option to hire you on as a civilian consultant. Just like Daniel.”

“That almost sounds too good to be true.”

“Well, you are considered to be an invaluable asset to the program. And the President agrees.”

“Are you sure he’s not just scared of Dad?” She laughed.

“Well, he might be” Jack snickered. “But he also adores you. So that helps.”

Sam smiled and downed the last bit of her whiskey. “Well. Whatever happens, it’s good to know my team still has my back.”

“We’ll always have your back, Carter. Even when it doesn’t seem like it.”

“Always?”

“Yes. Always.”


End file.
